SDH 442: The #1 Thing Keeping You From Starting Your Business and How to Move Through It with Amanda Boleyn
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Hello friends, welcome back to another episode!
Today's episode is going to be short, sweet, strong, and impactful. I think it's a message that a lot of you may need to hear and a message in order to feel like you have that permission to not have it all figured out.
When you make your first step towards building your business, what I see often is this ‘undercurrent of control’. When we do something that is completely outside of the norm our brain wants to jump in and protect us. What it does when it senses fear, is it will try to control everything, it will try to predict everything, it will want to know steps one through ten. Even though in the beginning you realistically can only see steps one and two. When you can't see steps one through ten or two through ten your brain freaks out. What typically happens is that it then causes a problem at step eleven when you haven't even taken that first step. Now because you've created a problem in your brain you don't even take that first step.
This is one of the common themes and things that I see happen most often, with new business owners trying to get started. They are trying to get their business off the ground and it begins with this sense of this undercurrent of control, then wanting to know what their business will look like in a year, wanting to know all the problems so that they can control it, wanting to have something be so perfect and a certain way and the thought that it's if it's not going to be exactly the way that they want it, then what's the point of even getting started in the first place.
It's the fear of not getting it right, the fear of getting it wrong, the fear of what if it doesn't succeed, the fear of this problem is going to arrive at step X, Y and Z. The feel of ‘It's overwhelming and I don't know how to solve it. So why even start in the first place?’. That fear keeps a lot of people stuck.
Your brain doesn't have that past experience to know what unfolds. Instead, it freaks out. It's just like learning to ride a bike or learning to drive a stick shift. Any said ‘failure’ you experience is magnified in the beginning because it is so new. But it's learning to fail, learning to put yourself out there, learning to push past and move through the fear is exactly the same thing as riding a bicycle or learning to drive a stick shift. When you start building your own business, thinking that there is a right way and a wrong way to do something can also keep you stuck. Because what happens is if you put yourself out there and it ends in a ‘failure’ our brain thinks, ‘Well, that was wrong, there must be a right way to do it’. The challenge with the right way and the wrong way of thinking is that it can oftentimes paralyze you from taking any action in the beginning.
If you're a high performer, you don't want to be wrong. You're not used to being wrong. You are used to doing your due diligence, you are used to doing your research. So for you being wrong or getting it wrong is not something that probably happens often. But in this world of building your business, I want you to practice and try on the thought of ‘what if there is no right or wrong?’. What if there is only experience, learnings, and outcomes? The thought of thinking that there's a right or wrong way is going to keep you stuck, and is going to keep you from taking action.
I can tell you after being in the online business space for years, there are so many different ways that you can get to your first 100k. You will find coaches that will teach you so many different strategies in so many different ways on how to get to 100k, that there is no right or wrong way to get to 100k. There is just a way. The one thing that is common between all of these multiple ways, is that they just started and they figured it out along the way. It was a messy, massive action.
If you're focused on doing it right you're going to overanalyze in your head thinking there's a right way, when there are so many ways to do one thing. Just pick one way of doing it, do it that way, and execute. Remember there's a difference between asking questions because you're curious and because you want to understand, but there's also asking questions from a place of trying to control because you don't want to get it wrong.
If you are coming from this place of wanting to control things because you don't want to be wrong, I want to offer you a few different thoughts. One is thinking that there is no right or wrong way of doing something. The thought of failure simply just means data. That's it. The sooner that I get started, the sooner I take action, the sooner I can understand what works and what doesn’t. Sometimes we get so laser focused on how something needs to be, we create that narrowness and if you focus on something so intensely you ignore everything else that's happening around you. Sometimes that can be the magic piece.
The second is to trust that what unfolds is meant to be. So it's really practicing this letting go of control, and letting go of this need for it to be right or wrong.
I hope you enjoyed this week's episode. Come hang out with me on Instagram and until next time, keep doing it your way!
Insights:
“The thought of thinking that there's a right or wrong way is going to keep you stuck, and is going to keep you from taking action.“
“The one thing that is common between all of these multiple ways, is that they just started and they figured it out along the way. It was a messy, massive action.”
“If you're focused on doing it right you're going to overanalyze in your head thinking there's a right way, when there are so many ways to do one thing.”
“The thought of failure simply just means data.“
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