SDH 420: Morning and Evening Rituals with Amanda Boleyn

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Most people think that in order to have a successful day or to start their day off right they need to begin with their morning ritual. I believe that it is quite the opposite. In order to start your morning off right, we have to also end our day right. This means starting your day with your morning ritual and ending it with an evening ritual.

In today’s episode, I’m diving into how to get started and how to integrate both of these new rituals into your daily routine.

Evening Rituals:

Start your ritual as much as possible an hour before you actually fall asleep. For example, if you tend to fall asleep quickly, try to start your ritual an hour beforehand. If having an hour to wind down seems like a luxury, start with 30 minutes.
No cell phone or electronics an hour before bed. This is to help calm your brain. If you for whatever reason do use electronics for bed, consider getting blue-light ray blockers.
Charge all devices in a separate room. If you use your cell phone for an alarm clock, consider getting an analog one. This can help avoid any distractions from social media apps and mindless scrolling. You may get to a place where social media on your phone doesn’t tempt you and may feel more confident by not getting distracted.
Bonus! Create a “Do Not Disturb” setting in your phone so that you don’t even see a notification come through and become tempted to check.
Reflect on your day. I like to use the “5 Minute Journal.” Super simple, easy, and impactful.
Read before bed!
Avoid decision fatigue. Let’s say that every day you wake up, you have 100 units of decision making power. If we assume we only have 100 units of decision making power, then we’re going to want to optimize our decisions that we make on a daily basis. That being said, one of the things you can do ahead of time is to make as many decisions as possible the night before; pick out your outfit, your breakfast, and your workout clothes and gear. Either at the end of your workday or before you go to bed, review your calendar for the next day. Do you need to shift anything? Brainstorm all the things you can make decisions for ahead of time.
Optional: If you’re someone who thrives in a more organized environment, set the timer for 15 minutes and do a cleaning blitz that way you wake up to a clean house. Sometimes I find myself so tired and wanting to go to bed but I know my future self would appreciate a clean environment when she wakes up! I use that as leverage to get my butt in gear.

Morning Rituals:

The goal is to use the morning to align and set intentions. To be proactive, not reactive. I remember a handful of years ago I’d wake up with an overwhelming sense of urgency and anxiety regarding “all the things” I needed to get done for that day and never felt like I could “catch up.” Every night I would go to bed thinking of all the things I needed to get done the next, so therefore I was constantly in a state of “being behind.” But the state of feeling “behind” was caused by my thinking. I thought I had to get it all done. I had to cross off every single thing on my list.

As you continue to grow as a business owner you quickly learn the skill of sifting through the noise and focusing on the vital few while basically ignoring the trivial many. When you feel behind you have two choices, continue to live in a closed loop of overwhelm and drama OR decide in that very moment to practice the skills of deciphering what your vital few are and what is trivial. To focus only on the vital few while the trivial many are vying for your attention is a skill and a muscle. It requires continual practice and doesn’t happen overnight. To focus on the big task at hand for that day while your inbox is piling up and requests are coming….that is strengthening your focus muscle. There will never be a time when an email inbox, social media DM’s, client requests, or just about everything else, won’t be vying for your attention. That’s why you have an opportunity to make a decision in this moment to be steadfast and practice your muscle and skill that regardless of what happens and who wants your attention, you’re always in control of how you feel, what you take action on, what gets done and what doesn’t get done on purpose.

Lastly, whether you have 5 minutes for a morning ritual or 3 hours I recommend incorporating some sort of gratitude and intention setting...I love using the 5 Minute Journal for this.

Morning Rituals ‘must-haves’:

Hydrate immediately. I used to get up and drink coffee right away in the morning. Then I integrated the practice that until I drink at least 16 ounces of water I can’t have coffee. Hydrating not only in the morning right away but throughout the day has drastically changed my energy levels for the better. Put the water next to your bed stand or in your bathroom, that way it is the first thing you see when you wake up and can act as a trigger for you.
Integrate a gratitude practice. Again, you can use a tool like the 5 Minute Journal to strengthen your gratitude practice.
Make your bed every morning. Takes less than 5 minutes but the impact lasts for the whole day.
Visualize your day (sometimes I do this as I’m falling asleep. I play out what my next day is going to feel and look like).
Meditate. Start small. Do it for 1 minute a day.
Avoid social media and interaction with your phone. You can set rules up on your phone so you’re not tempted to hop on social media or get sucked into consuming. All inputs can affect how you operate for the rest of your day. The inputs prime you. If you start your day scrolling through social media, it is like washing your brain with that information. If you’re weighed down by all the inputs first thing in the morning, it is hard to get light so you get to work, stay focused, and accomplish what you set out to do.
Do your most important work of the day first, with zero distractions.

Keep in mind...

Everyone has different constraints and circumstances in their schedules. Not everyone is the same. And different routines work for different people. Just because you read somewhere that the most successful people workout in the morning doesn’t mean that you have to workout in the morning if it doesn’t work with your flow. Maybe you integrate walking into your morning routine, instead.
Feel free to condense or expand anything I previously shared based on how much time you have. Maybe you want to integrate a journaling practice. I never used to journal and then I found simply spending 5 minutes writing out my thoughts before bed and in the morning helped think more clearly. Instead of 60 seconds of meditation, expand to 5 minutes.

How to Get Started and Integrating Your New Rituals:

Instead of trying to integrate everything all at once, pick one thing to start at night, and one thing to start in the morning. Do that for 21 days, then pick the next thing you want to integrate into your routine.

Remember, it is up to you to protect and defend your calendar and the things you want to accomplish. No one can make anything happen for you; no coach, no program, no spouse or family member. Sometimes practicing boundaries and defending your calendar isn’t easy but the payoff is worth it.

I hope you have an amazing week, see you next time. Until then, keep doing it your way.