How To Overcome Imposter Syndrome
Guys!... I'm so excited to dive into today's blog post topic. Because this is one that I get asked about a lot and work with students who experience, heck, let's be honest, we all experience imposter syndrome in some capacity whether we think we're not good enough, qualified enough, fearful, we retreat and many more actions that keep us small.
When I Googled, "What is imposter syndrome?" the definition I got back was "Imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. 'Imposters' suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence."
Imposter syndrome brings up so many emotions, feeling like a fraud and thinking what you're doing is wrong, are two of the most common ones I see when I work with students. Feeling like a fake when you start something new, is normal.
A few months ago, I released a solocast about how you first must BE the type of person you want to BE to have and do the things you want to do. Anytime you're being someone new, let's call her the 2.0 version of yourself, you're no longer the 1.0 version of yourself, the person you used to be. And in the beginning when something is so new and you're being someone different than who you use to be, what you use to do, what you consider as your "normal" it can be uncomfortable and cause your brain to freak out and tell you that it is scary, to retreat. But again, that is normal and part of the process.
Imagine for a moment that you've never really considered yourself a runner before and you decide to sign yourself up for a half marathon. You learn to go from 0 to 13.1 miles over the course of 12 weeks.
When you first started, your normal was running 0 miles, you weren't a "runner." By the end of the race, you have accomplished running 13.1 miles. You may consider yourself at this point a "runner" but what I want you to take note of is that your normal 12 weeks prior was running 0 miles as a workout....now, your new normal for a workout might be running a casual 4 miles.
When you first launch your business and in the beginning stages you are transforming yourself from a non-business owner to someone who is a new business owners. To think that you won't experience change, thoughts, doubt, is the crazy part. If you didn't change as a person and shed some layers, that would be scarier. There will probably be some failing involve, but failing and felling uncomfortable doesn't mean stop, it means you're growing.
The person you are being and what you do when you launch your business is different than who you need to be and what you do when you start making $5,000 a month. Who you are as a person when you make $100,000 a year is different than the person you are when you make $500,000 a year. And because you are a different person, you will then DO different things. At the moment when you decide to BE the next version of yourself and DO different things to HAVE different things in your life, you will encounter some form of imposter syndrome and that is okay.
As you evolve into a different, higher version of yourself, as you begin to stretch your comfort zone and push the boundaries, your brain will freak out. It will tell you, "you've never done this before" "it might fail" "It is scary" that is normal. You are being someone new. When you're being someone new you may not have the full competency of who you need to be because you're figuring it out through that transition.
I had a brief bout of imposter syndrome when my husband and I decided to move into the building that we currently live in. While our previous building was nice, the one that we currently live in is a little bit more upscale, has nicer amenities and is in the neighborhood I always envisioned living in.
I kid you not, for the first few weeks, I thought to myself, "Are they going to find out that we don't belong here?" Thinking back to that moment now, I'm like "Amanda! What the heck?" but I had to coach myself through those moments of doubt.
Something as simple as getting dressed every day or wearing nice outfits. Growing up, I developed an interesting relationship with clothes, one that I had to do some work on because I saw how it was impacting my life as an adult. In our household, getting dressed up (and I say that lightly) wasn't necessarily an everyday thing, clothes were usually baggy vs fitted, one to two pants/bottoms were on rotation at all times and getting ready for the day wasn't a thing. There wasn't an emphasis on putting yourself together. Times when I would dress up, it was noticed and I got attention which felt uncomfortable, and didn't "feel right" so I retreated. I conditioned myself to not dress up because I associated it with attention and gave the meaning of attention a negative, not position. But over time, as I've gotten older, I've realized that the person I want to BE is something that gets dressed up every day, puts make up, isn't afraid to opt for the nicer outfit when going out with friends, and why for people around me it might be a new thing, it has also been getting comfortable with any attention.
Ways To Work Through And Overcome:
Remind yourself that you "belong here"
How you feel in that moment is part of the process and normal.
Remind yourself of all your previous success and what you got you to that point.
Reframe your failure as a learning opportunity and part of the process.
Be kind to yourself through the process and remember you are human.
Again, as you transform into a different version of yourself, you must be okay with discomfort because that means you're growing.
You're setting a new normal for yourself!
The question I want to leave for you today is, where are you experiencing major discomfort in your life right now that is attributed to you becoming the next-level version of yourself and how can coach yourself through that experience?
Until next time, keep doing it YOUR way!
